To have a meaningful and fulfilled life we must have a purpose in life.
A purpose drives us, gives us direction and gets us up in the morning.
Without purpose we stumble along in life, not knowing why we do what we do, or what the point to it all is?
Everybody has a purpose in life which is individual to them. Some people discover theirs early in life, others later in life.
It can change throughout our lives, as we grow we change. Having a purpose in life will lead to a better existence.
What stops us from finding our purpose in life?
- Life pressures – the need for certainty, stability and a big list of responsibilities.
- Time scarcity – life is busy, when is there time to do anything apart from the essentials?
- Limiting beliefs – believing we lack the skills to thrive in something outside of our comfort zone.
- Following the wrong path – when we believe we have purpose, but really we are being materialistic, or misguided.
You may think that you are living your purpose, but if you’re truthful and self-reflective you may identify that you’re not. Feel stressed, anxious, bored, unmotivated? These could be a good indication that you’re not living your purpose.
Take notice of what your instincts are telling you.
To achieve this our lives may need to change drastically. But we might be able to adapt what we are already.
But we’re doing fine as we are, what possible benefits could we gain from changing?
What are the benefits of having a purpose in life?
- A sense of direction in life
- It inspires you to face new challenges
- Hard times are easier to weather
- You are a nicer more contented person
- A feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment
- You have better relationships
- It motivates and focuses us
- You’ll live longer
Of all these benefits, the final one is a real motivator – you’ll live longer. There’s a clear link between mortality and having a purpose. However we have to identify that purpose.
Approaches to find your purpose in life
1#. Search inwards
This is about self-reflection, looking within yourself. Answer the questions below:
- What do you believe in?
- What drives you?
- What do you love doing?
- What are your strengths?
- What are you good at?
- What do you care about?
- What makes your happy?
These questions look deceptively simple. But interrogate your answers, you may find that your first answer is not 100% truthful. Your gut feeling will tell you this. It pays to question answers to really dig down deep and discover the true answers.
Tip: Make a note of your answers, this helps recall, and you can delve deeper into them.
2#. Develop your own life vision statement
A statement of no more than 100 words, which describes what you want to achieve in your life. It’s a clear, concise summary of your goals and dreams.
It keeps you focused on what you want from life. It acts as an anchor and keeps you on track when you veer off course.
The simple process of writing a vision statement compels you to think about the purpose of your life and how to achieve it.
Tip: Display it somewhere so it’s always visible, to remind you of your purpose.
3#. Start a conversation
A way to discover your purpose is to have an enquiring mind. We have an unlimited resource available to us, other people. Who have similar drives and needs, but we’re all individual and unique. An essential skill here is the ability to listen properly and not just hear what they’re saying.
Having their own purpose in life can help you identify yours. This is how you use this resource to help you identify your purpose:
Show an interest – what do they like to do? They may have an interesting hobby or be working on a project.
Be questioning, talk to people about their life. You’ll unearth a treasure trove of information, some of this information will astonish you.
Unfortunately we often judge a book by its cover. For example, thinking someone is boring. But on further questioning finding that they’ve done amazing things or are doing amazing things.
Really listening and digesting it may help trigger your purpose in life.
Ask for feedback – Other people can give you insight into yourself. You need to open yourself up and be vulnerable, not critical or offended. If you ask for feedback do not expect compliments, ask for honesty. It may make your feel uncomfortable but it will be beneficial.
Ask them about what they believe you should be doing in life, you may be displaying your purpose. The person can guide you to it, they see you differently to how you see yourself.
And if they say that you seem to be drifting along in life without purpose, thank them and be motivated to find your own purpose.
Discuss their purpose – if you know the person well or feel comfortable asking, you can ask them directly what their purpose is. They may not have even thought about it, so it will create discussion.
This discussion will explore the topic further. We each have a different perspective on the world, so this alternative perspective may prove useful.
4#. Imagine your demise
This approach to identifying your purpose is one that some people find enjoyable and fun, but others find morbid and upsetting. So see how you feel about it.
Imagining your demise, the 3 methods available:
1. On your deathbed
If you were on your death bed and were looing back on your life:
- What would you think of it?
- Would you be happy or sad?
- Are there regrets?
- Have your relationships been worthwhile?
- Are there things you wish you had done more or less of?
- Have you been contented in life?
- Are parts of your life more enjoyable?
This is a time for reflection, and an opportunity to do a deep dive into your own existence.
2. Write your epitaph
An epitaph is usually something that is written about you after you expire. But in this instance, you’ll write it about yourself. It’s an opportunity to express how you would have liked to be seen in life. How people would have viewed you and the thoughts they would have had about you.
This exercise helps to identify things that really aren’t important. Would you really want your epitaph to say ‘they had a really nice expensive car’ or ‘they were loved by many and lived their life to the fullest’.
This is our opportunity to identify what’s important in life.
3. Time limited
If you knew you had a certain time to live, 6 months, a year, 5 years. How would this change what you’re doing in life. It’s an approach which can focus the mind on what really matters.
We have an illusion that our time is unlimited, but its precious and limited.
5#. Write out your story
Being your own biographer can aid you in reflecting on your life:
- What have you done in life?
- What made you happy?
- What did you enjoy?
- What gave you the most satisfaction?
Ask questions about your life, both positive and negative. If you find this difficult, ask someone who knows you well to fill in the gaps. We live our life without recognising the lessons we have learnt.
Tip: I struggle to remember what I’ve done in life, write a timeline of your life or go through your photo gallery. These may be handy reminders and memory triggers.
6#. Create the perfect future
As simple as it sounds, a chance to daydream. Imagine your perfect future, visualisation is very important for this. So it will help to carry out this exercise when you’re in a peaceful environment away from distractions.
Picture yourself in the future at a certain age or a certain period in time. How would you picture your ideal future in 20 years, or when you’re 40?
What would you be doing and who would you be if there were no limits to what you could be. This exercise helps you focus on your future possibilities. When you have a future you like, test it against your values and beliefs. It may not be a future that you would be comfortable in.
These visualisations can help illuminate your purpose in life. It can help identify if your current path in life is helping or hindering progress towards your purpose.
7#. What are you willing to sacrifice?
To do something worthwhile involves sacrifice. This sacrifice can be time, financial, career or material possessions. Living your purpose is so important that it often overshadows and is more time consuming than anything else in your life.
But living your true purpose will not feel like a sacrifice, it will feel worthwhile.
The challenge is identifying what you are willing to make these sacrifices for.
You may identify things in your life that you tried but didn’t follow through. You may have thought you found your purpose, but you didn’t keep it up, so was it your true purpose?
When you find your purpose in life it is all encompassing and the sacrifices you make will not feel like sacrifices. You won’t realise you’re sacrificing something because you’re in the moment and doing something important to you.
In conclusion…
These 7 techniques when used will give you the awareness of what you want to do with your life. Here they are as a reminder:
1#. Search inward
2#. Develop your own life vision statement
3#. Start a conversation
4#. Imagine your demise
5#. Write out your story
6#. Create the perfect future
7#. What are you willing to sacrifice?
How do you know you’ve found your purpose? The answer to this will be different for everybody. I believe it would be a feeling of contentment and the excitement, waking up each day to live your purpose.
What if you don’t find your purpose? Finding your purpose is not an exact science, we may faulter along the way. Making a conscious effort to identify your purpose will be rewarding. It will bring more success than bumbling through life aimlessly.
It can take a lifetime to find, as human beings we are not static, we change as we age. What may have been right when we were younger may not be right as we mature.
So just persevere, you’ll discover your purpose in life, and live a better life.