Dealing with negative people is one of life’s hazards.
They drain our positivity and kill our good mood. Replacing them with doom and gloom, ruining our day, week or even our lives.
Lucky people experience them in passing, whilst others spend a great deal of time with them, and the unfortunate live with them.
Naturally, encountering negative people is inevitable, the signs are usually obvious, however it’s how we deal with them that’s important.
Here we look at strategies to maintain our sanity and well-being when faced with their negativity.
Limit your exposure to negative people
This is the ideal strategy to avoid negativity, however it’s dependent upon who they are, for family, friends, and colleagues this can be challenging.
So, there are people that can’t be avoided, those who you can limit your exposure and others you can avoid.
#1. Avoid negative people
This is the number one strategy for ensuring your cheerfulness and wellbeing. If this is an option, do it, negative people drain you and leave you feeling fatigued and in a low mood.
With this strategy you do everything in you power to avoid them, this may for example require ending friendships.
So, what can you do when you can’t avoid them?
#2. Limit your exposure
When you must spend time with them limit your exposure. If you work with them create a barrier, whether it’s a physical barrier at a shared desk or keeping yourself busy.
This is the next best option to avoidance, reduce your exposure to them. It may require you to be a bit sneaky.
However, this becomes challenging if the negative person is a family member or close friend. But don’t worry we have strategies to tackle this.
#3. Distance yourself when possible
When you can’t avoid negative people learn how to distance yourself.
Mentally note when they’re at their most negative, such as when talking about their home life or work life – politely excuse yourself.
They could have a negativity trigger, such as Monday mornings or night shifts. You’ll know when this is because you’ll feel your energy levels being sapped by them.
Steer the conversation the right way
When avoidance, limiting exposure and distancing yourself isn’t possible, we have other strategies. The following focus on the conversations you have, or don’t have.
#4. Redirect the conversation
When the negative person starts down a road of negativity, steer the conversation along a more positive route.
Also, certain topics trigger negativity, carefully choose the conversations you engage in. This means focusing on topics that are more positive, for example work could be a trigger, talk about their home life instead.
#5. End the conversation
If the conversation takes a negative turn, excuse yourself politely. There’s no need to suffer the negativity when there’s a way out of it.
Some conversations can be ended, however some will have to be tolerated, if they become personal, it may be too rude to leave.
However, there are methods that can be used to end a conversation the right way.
#6. Avoid all unnecessary confrontation
Some people thrive off confrontation and drama. For most sensible and positive people this is not something that should be tolerated.
Avoid confrontation at all costs. Because arguing or trying to change a negative person’s perspective is a last resort.
They either don’t want to change their perspective, or it will be too challenging and draining for you.
#7. Choose your battles carefully
There will be occasion when confrontation is unavoidable because it is essential for your well-being or it’s work related.
It takes discipline to hold your tongue. The right time to engage in a discussion or when it’s best to let things go, will be down to your personal assessment.
However, you have control over the battle and the ground, so plan appropriately.
Make negative people the focus
Negative people, although draining, can be important to us. They may be family or close friends, so we can try to help them.
#8. Focus on solutions not problems
People are negative because they believe they have a life full of problems. Rather than dwell on their problems shift their focus to problem solving.
Because have a different perspective on the problem we see a clear solution, either offer the negative person a solution or try to guide them toward it.
Offer them support in identifying constructive ways to address their issues, try to keep it positive. By helping them out of their negativity you’re making life more pleasant for them and yourself.
#9. Empathise with them
Try to understand their perspective and offer support when they’re going through a tough time.
The reason for their negativity may be something you can relate to. However, if their negativity is based on something you believe to be minor or irrelevant, try to understand it from their point of view.
We all assess situations differently and are affected differently, so don’t dismiss their problems.
#10. Practice active listening
Sometimes negative people just need someone to listen. If they’ve had no one to talk to rumination and a cycle of negativity may be the result.
If this is the case, listening will be beneficial for them.
Listening is something we take for granted, but listening is a skill, one which many of us need to work on. Work on it and you’ll reap the rewards.
Make looking after yourself a priority
You have to maintain your own positivity, ensure that you don’t become a negative person. This is especially true, if it’s your job to work with negative people, if you’re a therapist, paramedic or police officer.
#11. Practice self-care
Broadly speaking this is looking after yourself. Taking care of your own well-being is crucial when dealing with negative people.
When negative people can’t be distanced and its hard to change their perspective you need to maintain your own emotional and physical well-being.
This involves things like eating healthily and avoiding excessive alcohol. Unfortunately, alcohol has a negative impact on your physical and mental health.
Exercising helps with stress and talking to others about how you’re feeling will help.
#12. Communicate how they make you feel
Negative people may be lost in their own negativity and not realise how much it impacts on others, especially loved one.
If it’s appropriate, tell them how their negativity affects you, talk through the things they do and say.
Be open and honest, it can lead to a break down in the relationship if not handled sensitively. However, it should lead to a better understanding and positive changes for you both.
#13. Maintain your positivity
Stay positive and don’t let their negativity affect your mood.
You can achieve this by looking after your physical and mental health. Also, by surrounding yourself with positive people.
Stay optimistic, believe you can help them become more positive, be optimistic that things will change for the better and that you’ll remain strong.
#14. Remain calm
Avoid getting emotionally involved in their negativity. Stay calm when dealing with negative people. This will help you maintain control over your own emotions and cause you to react appropriately.
Negative people may like to get a reaction out of you and cause you distress. Keep your composure and don’t give them the satisfaction.
#15. Seek support
Talk to friends or family to help you cope with the emotional toll of dealing with negative people.
If you don’t want to impact on friend and family in a negative way or you have no one you trust, speak to a therapist.
They’re trained to assess and help treat emotional distress. They’ll listen and give you strategies to cope with the negativity.
Sharing your experiences and feelings can provide insight and help you manage the negativity better.
In conclusion
Dealing with negative people is one of life’s challenges. They drain our positivity, sap our good mood, and replace our optimism with doom and gloom.
For some of us, encountering negative people is an occasional thing. But for others it’s a constant. Unfortunately, we have no choice but to coexist with negative people, but how we navigate these encounters impacts our well-being.
We’ve looked at several strategies for dealing with negative people, including limiting exposure, avoiding negative people, and creating barriers to minimise the impact of negativity.
However, when such strategies aren’t practical we have alternatives. Which are strategies to help the negative person. Encouraging them to focus on solutions rather than problems.
Ultimately, we must look after ourselves through self-care to maintain our own positivity. It’s vital not to let the negativity of others damage your own emotional and physical well-being.
In the end, while we can’t always control the presence of negative people in our lives, we can influence how we react to them and the extent to which their negativity impacts us.
By applying these strategies and being focused on your own well-being, you can deal with negative people the right way.
Remember, you choose how you respond to negative people, this choice can make all the difference, to your mood, happiness, and well-being.