Having a good conversation can be one of the most enjoyable things we do, or it can be boring, painful or regretful. Whatever the conversation, good or bad, sometimes it just needs to end. How to end a conversation the right way is a skill we’ll learn here.
We could just walk away from a conversation, but in society we live by rules, we don’t want to be rude. Apart from social rules we want to end a conversation well because:
– A last impression can be as important as the first impression
– We want to leave a positive lasting impression
Leaving a conversation in a rude way will have a lasting impression on the other person, one that could have unforeseen repercussions. There are many reasons why we would want to leave a conversation, tiredness, you’re busy, the person is negative and brings you down or you’re not in the right head space.
How to know when a conversation is ending?
Most conversations will come to a natural end, but tiredness, lack of interest, busyness or time constraints are other reasons. Here we have indicators which are displayed when a conversation is at its end:
- Looking bored, yawning
- Clock watching or phone scanning
- Awkward silences or repetition
- Fidgeting or fiddling
- Delayed replies
- Looking at or making small moves to the exit
- Backing away slowly
Conversations can be carried out over the phone, face-face, video calling, messaging or via other forms of communication.
They can be casual, work related or personal and will vary with different people, friends, family, work colleagues, strangers, partners…
Important: the method that you use to end a conversation will depend on how the conversation is being carried out and the person/people you’re communicating with.
How to end a conversation
Whichever method works for you will depend on your own set of individual circumstances, so select the right option for the right situation.
Plan ahead
If you know you’ll be having a conversation with someone or you’ll likely bump into someone, you can plan an exit strategy.
Set a time limit straight away, let them know you have to be somewhere at a certain time, or that you only have 5 minutes.
When it’s a conversation you really don’t want to have or if you believe it will go sideways ask a friend to call or message you at a certain time. Similarly, you can set an alarm to a ring tone and set it to go off. You could then politely excuse yourself.
Have a reasonable excuse
Here’s a few useful excuses to end that phone call, video call or face-face conversation:
Call incoming – you could be waiting for an important call.
A call of nature – always a convenient excuse, everybody experiences it and knows the urgency.
Somewhere to be – either you’ve arranged to be somewhere at a certain time, or if at home you were just leaving the house.
A knock at the door – we all have deliveries, so believable.
Tech issues – low battery, poor Wi-Fi or phone signal.
A polite exit – an example could be: ‘It seems like we’ve covered everything we need to’.
Driving –never a good idea to talk and drive, even if hands free, so an easy way to end a call.
Make it appear in their benefit
End the conversation in a way that seems to be in their benefit:
Assume they’re busy – ‘I know you’re busy I’ll let you go’.
Make an arrangement – arrange a time to call or meet at some other time.
They’re in the middle of something – ‘I’ll leave you to your shopping’.
Leave on a positive note
It’s better to leave on a positive note than to risk them feeling shunned. Use these techniques to quickly end the conversation, with a positive spin:
Lets connect – LinkedIn, Facebook…give them your business card.
Not a great time – can I call/message you back later.
Make plans – plan a meetup, they’ll know that you want to spend time with them.
Thank you -thank them for the conversation, flatter them then be off.
Introductions – grab someone else and introduce them, then excuse yourself.
Handshake – this or other physical actions to indicate the end of a conversation.
Adapt and use the above to leave a conversation in a way that won’t upset anybody.
What do you do if these techniques don’t work and you just want to end the interaction?
Body language
These are subtle and can give you an exit, you may seem rude, or they may not even notice. But these are the techniques of last resort:
- Toes or body facing the exit
- Keep looking at the exit
- Back away slowly to create distance
- Shuffling from one leg to another indicates a desire to leave
- Open exit door or car door
The last resort is to avoid the person or ignore any communication from them. Although not very polite sometimes it’s the best way to deal with problem people.
We won’t get on with everybody, and some people we don’t want to communicate with. If someone makes us feel bad about ourselves, why would we want anything to do with them.
In Conclusion…
Communicating with others can be enjoyable, stressful or boring. We now have tools that can be used to exit a conversation. This post ‘How to end a conversation’ is not about manipulating the other person it’s about being polite and making the best use of your time.
We’ve looked at how to recognise when a conversation is coming to a natural end, and the body language indicators when someone wants to end a conversation.
The techniques will be suitable for certain forms of communication and will vary depending on who you’re communicating with. The circumstances will determine the method you use to exit the conversation.
The benefits you gain include: time saving, methods to exit a conversation on a positive note, being able to recognise when others want to end the conversation and improved communication skills.
Knowing how to end a conversation will help you have more of the communications you want and the less of the ones you don’t want. Give them a go, and good luck.