A pessimist tends to focus more on the negative than the positive. A personality trait which seems to be on the up.
People I’ve spoken to have said that over the last few years they’ve become more pessimistic. Something which I’ve also noticed in myself.
So, I wanted to understand more about what pessimism is, by asking – why am I pessimistic?
Which led to more questions: what is pessimism? Is it normal? Is it a bad thing? Can we become less pessimistic?
Questions which this article answers – resulting in 7 method to help us become less pessimist.
Between Two Extremes: Optimism and Pessimism
Most personality traits fall on a scale between one extreme or the other. This is no different with pessimism.
I’m closer to being a pessimist on the scale than an optimist. Assess where you sit, this is essential to be able to help yourself. The two extremes are:
Pure optimist – will have their rose-tinted glasses on and be detached from reality.
Pure pessimist – will exist in a world of doom and gloom, in which life has no meaning.
Most people sit around the middle, which is a healthy place to be. But for those that exist at either extreme should seek professional help.
We can move along the scale depending on what happens in life. Also, certain things in life may cause us to be more pessimistic or optimistic.
For example, your marriage may be based on a solid foundation, you’re content and love your partner (optimistic). But in contrast your work life may be dismal, you hate going to work and it impacts on how you feel (pessimistic).
Am I a Pessimist? Common Indicators
The following is not an exhaustive list (for an optimist just imagine the opposite):
- Surprised when things go well, assume it was luck
- Don’t take risks for fear of failure
- Focus on what can potentially go wrong
- Over prepare, plan and ruminate
- A lack of belief in your
- abilities, including imposter syndrome
- Negative self-talk and negative thoughts
- Staying in your comfort zone and embracing the familiar
Is Being a Pessimist Really the End of the World?
A pure pessimist would probably believe it is, literally. If this rings true to you then speak to a professional, talk to a friend or family member. Never suffer in silence.
I recognise I’m more of a pessimist than an optimist, so I can ask myself why, and can I change? Also, do I want to change?
Previously I would’ve argued that my view of the world is more realistic than pessimistic. A personal mantra often questioned by my partner.
Which convinced me that it was time to become less pessimistic. If people are honest, would they say you’re too pessimistic? It’s worth asking the question.
Understanding Why You Sit Where You Do on the Pessimist/Optimist Scale
To identify where you sit on the scale self-reflection is essential. Once you have an idea of where you are on the scale you need to find out why.
There’ll be things in your life which are good, neutral or bad. When amalgamated they determine whether you are more pessimist or optimist.
If you struggle with this think of areas of your life such as work, family or finance. For example you may be pessimistic because your partner is overly critical and treats you poorly.
Be curious about why you are, how you are, do your past experiences impact on your happiness?
It could be genetics, are you like your relatives? Does pessimism or optimism run in the family?
The Benefits and Drawbacks of Being a Pessimist
Yes benefits. You could reel off a list of drawbacks including:
- Increased stress and anxiety from anticipating the worst and overthinking
- Lost opportunities because of a fear of failure leading meaning you take less risks
- Poor relationships due to your negativity pushing or keep people away
- Downplaying the positive and focusing on the negative
- Physical health issues such as heart disease
Contrastingly, there are potential benefits to being a pessimist like being better prepared for challenges. Being able to anticipate potential problems leads to planning, collection of necessary resources and mental preparation.
Being able to mentally prepare for a situation reduces any potential upset and shock. A paramedic who expects the worse at a road traffic accident will be mentally prepared to deal with what they find.
Also, by having low expectations pessimists are less likely to be disappointed. But how positive this is, is questionable.
Simple Ways to Be Less Pessimistic for Positive Change
#1. Avoid negative things
This doesn’t mean quit work because you don’t like it. instead, if means cutting out negative things in your life that you can do without. Two things I’ve cut out from my life are negative people and negative media. The latter includes social media and the news which can cause us to feel more pessimistic.
#2. Practice gratitude
This is simply recognising what’s good in your life. There are many benefits and methods to practice it, for example when I brush my teeth I think of and reflect on three things that went well that day.
Keeping a journal is a more traditional practice, write down what went well.
If you struggle don’t worry, it can be anything positive, a smile from a stranger, a good cup of coffee or being early for work.
#3. Practice mindfulness or meditation
Mindfulness helps you to refocus your attention, to be more present in the moment. It helps to alleviate negative thoughts. It’s identifying what your senses are experiencing, the feeling in your body. Don’t try to stop your thoughts, let them pass by to be dealt with at another time.
Meditation is closely related to mindfulness but is more structured. You can set ten minutes aside to focus on your breath or focus on a point in front of you.
#4. Don’t ruminate on what you can’t control
Many of us have a need to be in control, feeling out of control can cause stress and anxiety.
Learn to identify what you can and can’t control. You can plan for things out of your control but don’t ruminate.
#5. Seek professional help
When life becomes a struggle and pessimism becomes chronic and persistent it’s time to seek help.
Consider the use of a therapist, there are many therapies that can help address negative thoughts such as Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).
#6. Learn to reframe situations
Optimists are good at doing this. If a pessimist had a job interview, but didn’t get the job, they’d be self-critical, doubting their abilities, believing they’re not good at job interviews.
Whereas an optimist in a similar position would view it as a great opportunity for learning and as a step closer to their ideal job. An optimist is able to move on from mistakes.
Be more like an optimist and put a positive spin on every situation, make this a habit and you’ll become more optimistic.
#7. Recognise and challenge negative thoughts
By reading this you’re already reflecting on your thoughts. So next time you find yourself being pessimistic reflect on your thoughts and the challenge them.
To challenge them you can question their accuracy, how realistic is the thought? How probable is the negative outcome?
Why Am I Pessimistic? A Summary
Being a pessimistic may not be a desirable trait, but it’s not really a problem for most of us.
So long as you don’t fall into the pure pessimist category you can thrive in life.
But it’s good to know that our level of pessimism changes throughout life, because of our experiences and life events.
Also, knowing certain situations can make us more pessimistic empowers us to be able to reframe events.
Within the article are seven useful methods to help us become less pessimistic. However, if none of them help seek professional help.