The problem with waiting for the right time…
…is that there’s never a right time. Waiting for that perfect moment to start or do something will lead to failure. It’s better to try and fail. Rather than do nothing, which itself is a type of failure.
We procrastinate not because we’re lazy but because we fear failure, don’t know how to start or don’t know what we want to achieve.
This waiting is more dangerous in midlife, because a lost opportunity may be one which is gone forever.
The reasons why we delay starting
Have you ever made excuses to avoid doing something? Think of an example from your own life. Often, we hesitate because of a deeper fear.
I put off publishing my first blog post. I wanted it to be perfect, because I feared being ridiculed or judged.
The reason we don’t start something is unique to us, but don’t fool yourself that you have a good reason. It’s more likely you’re fearful to start.
Change your mindset from one of perfection to one of just doing it. Be open to making mistakes, your progress will surprise you.
A flawed start is normal, and necessary
This is essential when you do something new: mistakes lead to learning, which leads to success.
Imagine you wanted to play golf, you’ve never played before. If you don’t try you’ll learn nothing and regret your inaction.
Now, imagine giving it a go, the highs and lows of learning a new skill. Doing something badly can be more beneficial than doing nothing.
A bad start gives you a foundation which you can build on and learn from. No start gives you nothing. As we get older this becomes increasingly important.
Midlife makes this even more important
When we’re young we have all the time in the world, as we age we fill our time with family, work, hobbies and other commitments.
Midlife is super busy, and time feels more valuable. We don’t want to waste it on false starts and things we’ll fail at.
This is one of the reasons why many people view midlife as a crisis, in reality midlife is a chance to reset, reassess our priorities and try new things.
But we should be failing more. Stretching ourselves and leaving our comfort zone is important for growth.
This isn’t about massive life change, it’s about shaking things up to keep growing and getting better. What else stifles our curiosity to experiment?
The obsession and illusion of perfection
Perfection is a trait which is admired in society. Social media shows us perfect people with perfect lives.
We know perfection is an illusion, but we’re still hoodwinked into striving for it. It’s an impossible aim, which wastes time and can be an excuse for inaction.
I’ve done this many times, reworking an Etsy product until I lose interest and momentum, or trying to perfect that TikTok video.
Start small, so failure does not matter
If you have something you want to achieve, like creating a YouTube channel, learn a sport or improve your health, start small.
Small changes are often easier to sustain and can create momentum that leads to bigger improvements over time.
So that any failure is insignificant. If you want to improve your diet change one small thing, eat a piece of fruit daily. If one day you don’t, it’s a small failure, but one that’s easily managed.
Small starts remove the stress, overthinking and reduces the need for perfection.
The benefits of starting now
Instead of over planning, over thinking and stressing about the small things – just start.
You want to learn to play guitar, just start. Buy a guitar, learn the names of the parts, watch videos…
Just doing builds momentum and learning builds on learning. Even if you’re rubbish, you’ve achieved more than someone who hasn’t acted.
There are so many benefits to learning new things:
- Confidence building
- Positive mental attitude
- Learning is good for our health
- It helps you step out of your comfort zone
So, becoming stagnant, set in our ways and reliably predictable can become a thing of the past.
How to start badly is simple
Get a piece of paper or turn on your laptop, spend an hour noting down the things you want to do. These don’t have to be life changing things.
Creating a simple midlife bucket list can be a great way to identify experiences, challenges and goals that excite you.
Identify one thing you want to do now and a few simple steps to begin. If you want to create a YouTube cycling channel, but it seems overwhelming, just do something.
Such as get your bike dusted off and make it safe to use. Then go out for a short cycle.
Momentum will do its thing. If you try it and think it’s not for you, then try something else.
Don’t fear that you’ve wasted time and effort, interesting people are the ones with the stories and anecdotes, who’ve been there and done that.
You want to write a novel, just do it. You could spend years learning how to write a novel, or you could just start. Letting the process lead to learning, bringing you closer to your goal.
Most of what you write may only be suitable for deletion, but the learning and doing is the aim.
The satisfaction of trying will always overshadow the regret of never trying.
Bad starts beat excuses
Midlife is the perfect time to start new things. It’s a time when we can become stuck in our ways, mindlessly relying on a set of routines and habits.
This is a time when we must embrace change and try new things. However faltering or awkward the start may feel. Plus, no one else really cares how your new project, hobby or challenge begins.
The only person who worries and frets about failure and looking silly is yourself, not them. Other people are more interested in their own world.
So, next time you want to start that YouTube channel, learn that instrument or write that book – just start, make mistakes, learn, progress and succeed.